India’s secularism has officially entered a new festive season. After Diwali became ‘khushiyon ki Eid’, we may soon be informed that today is Eid of Govardhan Puja, tomorrow is Christmas of Chhath Puja, and Janmashtami is nothing but a particularly colourful version of Ramadan. In the grand dictionary of political secularism, every Hindu festival apparently needs a certificate of approval from another religion before it can be celebrated.
The latest contribution to this linguistic revolution came from Congress president Mallikarjun Kharge, who, while extending Diwali greetings, described the Hindu festival as “khushiyon ka Eid” (Eid of happiness). Apparently, wishing people a Happy Diwali was too ordinary. The occasion demanded an exercise in secular vocabulary.
Naturally, the BJP objected. But the real entertainment began when Congress leaders rushed to rescue their party president from his own choice of words.
Pawan Khera promptly declared that those questioning Kharge were “semantically ignorant”, explaining that Eid simply means a festival. Rashid Alvi joined the defence, arguing that Eid was commonly used as a metaphor for happiness. In other words, the Congress leadership had apparently discovered a linguistic emergency, and the entire party’s spokesperson machinery had to be deployed to explain what its president meant.
One wonders whether the same enthusiasm would be displayed if someone wished Muslims on Eid by calling it “khushiyon ki Diwali”. Would Congress leaders celebrate this beautiful example of linguistic inclusivity, or would they suddenly discover that festivals have distinct religious identities?
Perhaps the next Congress press conference should feature a comprehensive dictionary of secular greetings. Diwali Mubarak, Eid ki Diwali, Holi ka Christmas and Govardhan Puja ka Eid could all find their rightful place.
And why stop there? Someone should inform the secular samrat that Govardhan Puja is also an Eid of happiness. After all, if every Hindu festival can be translated into somebody else’s religious vocabulary, why should Govardhan Puja be left behind?
India’s civilisation is perfectly capable of celebrating every faith without confusing one festival with another. Respecting diversity does not require renaming traditions.
But then, in the Congress school of secularism, perhaps the only festival that matters is the festival of explaining what the leadership actually meant.
